Strongly-Worded Letter to Joel L.

31 July 2007

Mr. Joel L.
c/o Candice S.
3**0 Mar***ta Dr.
Fl*****ant, MO 63**3


RE: The abhorrent state of Joel L.'s attempts at civil correspondence, and my disparaging comments thereupon.


Ms. Candice S.:

I write this to you since my mind revolts at the waste of time writing a strongly-worded letter to one Joel L. would be. In both his inadequate ability to understand the relationship between subjects and predicates, and his negligence of social sophistication, Mr. L. has proven himself on the same level as a brainless badger or unexceptional slab of tan-colored carpet. Penning a letter straight to him would be the same as asking a completely dotterel geoduck to dictate a memo or fix a crisp chicken salad sandwich. Instead, I am forced to ask you to please have the necessary consideration to read this letter to him when it comes to the attention of your person.

Mr. Joel L.: Your primitive motivations for even drawing my attention to your tedious person are so far below the capacities of my rational intellect that I absolutely refuse to consider them or you. Moreover, the unaccomplished barbs which you ceaselessly and aimlessly hurl in your attempt to goad me into a discussion with you will fall, as always, to join with the buffoonery of the other churls so easily dismissed. When, Mr. L., you blunder out of the coarse rationale you share with the other isopods into realm of passable politeness please feel free to reward yourself by finally breaching into my schedule for a worthwhile conversation. Until then, please filter all of your remarks through Ms. Candice S. so that they will have, at least, the merit of her thoughtful hand on their despicable contents.


Contemptuously Yours,

/s/

Vincent Saint-Simon